Wide Eyed with Fright


At the age of 32,  I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and Secondary anxiety.

ADHD medication attention

Concerta and ADHD treatment

For me, this specifically means I have trouble with executive functioning.  My mind has trouble choosing what to concentrate on.  I’m easily distracted by any thought that comes into my head.  Because of this, I have trouble carrying out plans or executing ideas.  This results in loosing lists, leaving car keys in the car, keeping my plans.   I also have trouble sitting still.  Going to the movies is a torturous experience.  I often find myself leaving in the second half of the movie and walking around the hallways of the theater until I can convince myself to go back and sit in the seat for another 30 min.

Secondary anxiety refers to the anxiety I create in myself related to actions/ events that are more controlled by my ADHD than by design.  An example of how my poor executive function can cause anxiety is the anxiety of experience when I park my car and put my keys in my purse.  I’ve locked myself out of my car many times because of my absentmindedness in ADHD, so I’ve built up anxiety that I will lock myself out again.  So, when I park and lock up my car I start to get anxious that maybe I forgot my keys in the ignition.  I’ll checking my purse three times to make sure I put my keys in it and didn’t lock myself out of my car.  An example of how my restlessness causes secondary anxiety is how I avoid being in a car for more than 30 minutes, because I worry I’ll be so restless that I won’t be able to stand being cooped up.

This month I was prescribed ADHD mediation for the first time.

The doctor started me out with 27mg of Concerta for 10 days- then after a follow up with her, 36 mg of Concerta for 5 days and 54mg of Concerta for 1 day.  Concerta was chosen because it’s known to help people with anxiety.

The first day: I felt so relaxed.  All I did all day was watch movies.  When the med wore off I felt nauseous and sleepy.  I fell asleep at my normal time, and woke up feeling terribly tired.

27 mg for Day 2-10: difficulty waking up.  Lots of ups and downs as far as energy level goes.  At times I was so sleepy I had trouble finishing sentences and eating.  This was probably one of the least productive 10 days of my life. Nauseous was on and off.  When the medication was worn off (about 7 -8 hours) I had some hot flashes/ sudden sweating.  I still had an appetite, which is unusually on this medication and is a sign that I needed a higher dose.  How exactly the side effects played out throughout the day differed from day to day, but the benefits (calmness, less restlessness) didn’t change.  As far as focus went- well that was untouched.

I felt calm. I wasn’t restless, but it didn’t help me focus.

36 mg for 5 days

I actually had less side effects.  The dr. said that the higher does, with less side effects meant that the previously smaller dose was too low to be maintained in my body and the side effects I felt with the 27mg was the constant withdrawal as the drug entered and left my system throughout the day.

54 mg for 1 day

It’s been 5 hours since I took the 54 mg.  My energy level is higher today than on the lower doses.  I’m not feeling tired or nauseous- yet.  I pooped more than usual, but that often happens when adding any stimulate (like morning coffee). I was hungry for lunch. I decided to try to type up a blog and have found it easier to concentrate on my writing today than usual. However, I suddenly have a headache.  Is that because I skipped my normal morning caffeinated beverage? 30 min after drinking my normal latte my headache started to subside.

Things I’ve done to test my concentration today:

Typed a blog: result, typed much faster than usual.  I’m finding myself a bit restless at the laptop though.

Read a new book for about an hour: Maybe I was more focused, but I’m not sure.

Major Side Effect

I realized my sleep was so poor because I was having bad dreams.  This is unusual for me.  When I’d wake up during the night (which was frequent with Concerta) I’d wake up worried and anxious.  Sometimes I’d wake up panicky about a perceived danger or threat.  Like one night I had a leg cramp and couldn’t go back to sleep for hours- not due to the pain of the leg cramp but because I was too scared that if I went to sleep I would die of a leg blood clot.

I guess a major side effect for me was nightly withdrawal, withdrawal that resulted in minor panic attacks.

I stopped taking Concerta.

Reasons I’m Disorganized. Reason #1

I’m disorganized for lots of reasons.  Although I try super hard, my absent mindedness gets in the way of  successful organization.

Reasons I’m Disorganized #1:  Absentmindedness.

Like today, I have tape in one hand, scissors in the other, and I’m ready to tape up a “let’s get organized” poster to my living room wall.  Then I hear a car go by.  I’m distracted by the sound and look outside.  Is it to my husband’s car puling into the drive way?  Nope.  I’ll close the window.  The quieter it is the easier it will be for me to focus on my task at hand- getting organized.  But, as I close the window I notice I have the scissors in my hand.  So, I put the scissors down to close the window.

Ok.  Window closed.  Hmmm, now  was just about to use the scissors before I got distracted.  At this point I’m not sure what ihe scissors were for because I don’t even see the tape or poster anymore.  I must have placed the tape down sometime while I was looking out the window.   Why was I looking out the window?  Oh, yeah the car.

That reminds me, when is my husband getting home?  I’ll call him.  I reach for the cell phone with one hand, and start to dial for him, but my other hand has scissors.  So I put the scissors down and call my husband.   He’ll be home soon- I better clean up some of my mess.   I walk back to the living room to put away the scissors, then I see my “let’s get organized” poster on the couch.  I should put that up.  Where’s the tape?

Is soda Gluten Free

I saw this article from Gluten Free Living and thought you all might be interested.

Most sodas are gluten free. The ingredient that raises questions most often is the caramel color. Although caramel color can be made from barley, it is most often made from corn. The Pepsi- Cola Company said there is no gluten in any carbonated soft drink produced by the company in North America. The caramel color used in Pepsi beverages is not derived from wheat, oats, barley, rye, spelt or triticale, the company said. Diana Garza Ciarlante, a spokeswoman for the Coca- Cola Company, said the caramel color used in Coke products is derived from either corn or cane sugar. If an ingredient contains wheat, barley or rye it is labeled as such in the ingredient statement. Consumers can also check the gluten- free status of Coke products by calling the 1–800 number on the product’s package. A list provided by Ciarlante included, but is not limited to, the following sodas: Barq’s root beer (regular, diet, caffeine free, and diet red crème), Coke (regular, diet, diet plus, caffeine free diet, diet sweetened with Splenda, diet with lime, cherry, diet cherry, cherry zero, diet, vanilla, vanilla zero), CocaCola (regular, caffeine free classic and zero), and Sprite (regular, diet zero). Coke makes a number of fruit drinks, teas, bottled waters and other drinks that are also gluten free.

Trails eatery

Trails eatery has a variety of gluten free items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Highlights include pancakes, sandwiches and cupcakes. 

They attempt to avoid gluten contamination by using a dedicated GF toaster, grill, and GF storing zone. 

Here’s a picture of their GF menu options

I ordered the club sandwich. It was delish. The sandwich comes in two halves, but for the sake of showing the dish I took a picture of just 1/2. Sandwiches come with a side of salad (ranch or balsamic ) or melon.

The ambiance is casual chic.  Here are some pics 



7389 Jackson Dr

San Diego, CA 92119-2316

United States

trails webpage

Paul McCartney Still Rocks!

September 28, 2014. Petco stadium is filled to capacity with fans anxiously awaiting the arrival of Paul McCartney. over 30 years since his last appearance as a SD performer, fans are happy at the prospect of just being in his vicinity. In fact, seats designated as No View are filled like cream puffs.

The multicultural multigenerational fan base is a testimonial to “all we need is love” love of Music!

Although I was born in 1983, his music is part of my generation too, it’s the music I listened to on car trips with my parents, sung along to while washing the family car and dance along with while dusting our home. No matter ones age, Paul McCartney is a household presence. Today I share this moment with my husband and his father. My father in law flew in from Salinas Ca for the concert, taking a two day vacation in order to be here tonight. He hasn’t taken a day off of work for over 4 years, despite being 67. His normal bed time is 9pm, yet 9pm tonight his as giddy as a 13 year old boy who catches a glimpse of his cute neighbor girl changing while forgetting to close the blinds. Not only are the Beatles a simple of ones childhood but a elixir of youth.


Pet co stadium, awaiting Paul McCartney

Drab to Fab in 90 seconds

Look like you’ve slept 8 hours, in 90 seconds.

Updated with product links to make this fool proof.



  • The Body Shop Eye Cream with Vitamin E (helps reduce appearance of find lines, puffiness and dark circles.
  • An eye shadow that is lighter than your skin. Use a brush to apply. It’s okay to apply on top of eye cream.
  • Bare Minerals pressed veil or powder with SPF. Think of it as non-greasy sunblock.
  • Blistex Lip Vibrance with SPF 15: Adds a natural color, contains a small mirror for touch ups.
  • An ouchless Elastic for ponytails.
  • Head band
  • A pencil case, to keep the supplies easily handy. If you don’t have time to sleep, you don’t have time to look for your make up!



  • The Body Shop Eye Cream with Vitamin E: This product can be hard to find at the Body Shop. On many occasions you’ll find it sold out. Ulta now carries it, so you might have more luck there. The cream adds a reflective barrier on the skin, giving the illusion your under eye is a uniform skin color. Furthermore it reduces appearance of find lines, puffiness and dark circles. As a person who suffers from allergies, this has been my go to remedy for eradicating puffiness. This lotion is best applied by dabbing from the outside of the eye and working your way towards your nose. Apply both over and below the eye.


BEAUTY TIP: To further decrease swelling, use your fingers to tap around your eye orbit, starting from the outside of your eye brow, then working your way down and around the eye, again towards your nose. This helps move the fluid that gives the appearance of puffy/ swollen lids. By tapping, the liquid that’s been sitting on your eyes all night moves faster out of your system. You’ll know you’ve tapped correctly if you feel your nose start to run (about 30 seconds). If you don’t have time to do this before you leave the house, it’s the perfect activity to do while waiting for the signal light to turn green.

  • An eye shadow 1-2 shades lighter than your skin: Using a shadow a shade or two lighter than your skin will give the appearance of larger, brighter eyes. Also, using one shade evens skin tone and makes application a breeze. Simply cover all areas between your upper eye lashes to your inner and out brow, so there’s no need to fret about eye shadow placement. Plus, with a subtle color like this, mess ups won’t be noticeable.

BEAUTY TIP: Also add shadow to the inner corner of your eye up to your brow. Your eyes will pop and glimmer!

  • It’s okay to apply on top of eye cream, in fact I find the shadow stays even better when applied after the eye cream.
  • Bare Minerals pressed veil or powder with SPF: Most sun screen leaves an oily sheen on the skin. This natural product will absorb oil throughout the day and protect your skin from aging sun damage. For a natural look use the veil only. For coverage, use a tinted powder. Unlike the loose powder form that leaves a mess and requires a brush, the compact form can fit your back pocket and no brush is required. In San Diego overcast days can fast become sunny, so I always have some screen protection handy. In fact, I keep this in the glove compartment of my car so I have it any time I leave my house. Think of it as non-greasy sunblock.


  • Blistex Lip Vibrance with SPF 15: Exhaustion and illness can take the pigment from your skin faster than acetone removes polish. If you look ghostly or have a cold, a coat of Vibrance is a must. If you haven’t time to sleep, maybe you haven’t time to hydrate. Dehydration leads to chapped lips. This lip balms adds a neutral rosy sheen, making lips look rosy and chap free. It contains a small mirror on the cap for touch ups.



  • An Elastic and headband. As evident in my before picture, getting a brush through my tangles is as difficult and painful as walking through a cactus forest. The elastic is a quick solution.
  • The headband helps create the illusion of having an oval face shape. An oval face shape is considered the “most pleasing”. Further, the headband placement can also bring attention to cheek bones.
  • A pencil case: Put your drab to fab supplies in a pencil case or similar container next to a mirror. It is important to keep the supplies easily handy. If you don’t have time to sleep, you don’t have time to look for your make up!

Indian Summer in SD

SD. Beautiful beaches, warm winters, temperate summers… until this week. 101 degrees in San Diego. 75% humidity. No air conditioning ANYWHERE.

We all know SD is full of microclimates. 101 in Poway or Chula Vista is understandable. 101 in view of the coast… unimaginable. Unless you are living in San Diego now.

Like almost all of West SD, we have no air conditioning. Even $2500/ mo apartments in Fancy La Jolla don’t have air conditioning. Why? Apparently “You really don’t need it” or so I’ve been told countless times since I moved to SD. And, maybe I need to get my hearing checked because I swear people have been telling me, “it’s only hot here one week a year”. I think they mean it’s only cold in the summer for one week a year.

Well I work from my air-conditionless hot home and until I installed an indoor thermometer I thought it was ME who was just too sensitive to the heat. Yesterday the high in my home was 95 degrees, with up to 75% humidity… inside my house! The overnight low was a freezing 82 degrees. Of course the famous cool SD ocean breeze is always helpful, but on the hottest days of the year I couldn’t be that lucky. It seems a cool breeze comes from the ocean wind on the pleasantly sunny days and the hot breeze comes from the east In fact, the strong warm winds from the east are called Santa Ana winds, a Spanish word referring to Saint Ann. However, when Santa Ana is said fast in Spanish, the words sounds more like Satana-meaning Satan. Today I feel Satan is exacting his revenge on me!

I tried to cool off with a cold shower. I turned on the cold sprocket, kept the hot one seal shut, and jumped in, anticipating a cool shock. Nope. The water pipes were warm, because the concrete and dirt are warm. Warm water pipes, warm water- an interior HOT SPRINGS.

I turn to my icemaker for relief… broken. The cool air from the fridge teases me. My kitty and I stand in front of Fridge with the doors open. My kitty jumps into the fridge. Kitty Move over- I want to sit inside the Fridge too!

That’s it! I’ve had it! 9pm and I’m drenched in sweat. Let’s go to home depot and buy a portable air conditioner. Oh it’s Sunday and they are closed. Monday morning, I wake up and read my indoor thermometer: Low last night- 81 degrees. Honey! Let’s go buy an air-conditioning unit NOW!!! We get to home depot and are told, “Air conditioners? We don’t have those. I don’t think anyone has them. Some customers have come in and told me they’ve been to many stores and no one carries them, especially in September. No one expects this Indian Summer.” So I go online and look for other stores- like their competitor Lowes. Here’s what I find

Knowing I’ll spend another day melting like Frosty the snowman, I look at the forecast and try to develop a plan. Perhaps I can do household chores while its still cool. Nope, it is 95 degrees by 10am. 0 chance of precipitation. Well, there’s a few stores I need to go to today, so hopefully they will give me a respite from the heat. First I went to a paint store… no air. Their indoor thermometer read over 90. Then I went to a machine shop orientation. 2 hours surrounded by hot tools, no windows and no air conditioning.

I want to escape to the mall but there’s only outdoor malls here. My hair dye is streaking down my face. Help!

Starbucks it is! So I’m typing this in Starbucks, after quite a bit of first standing and waiting for a table to open (others had the same idea as myself). I’m concentrated on my typing but I hear a commotion around me. I look around. The forecast was wrong- it’s raining! Hard. Sudden. Rain. Relief?! Rain in SD is rare. The little bit of rain we get comes in the winter and is cold. RELIEF!? God has forgiven me!

The drops bounce off the pavement. Palm trees sway as the wind increases. Lightening streaks the sky. Thunder, a sound I haven’t heard in months, nearly knocks the drink from my hand.

Within minutes, trees are falling, sirens are blaring, and roads are flooding.

Figure 1 Raining hard in San Diego Sudden Tropical Storm

I step outside of Starbucks, longing for the cool rain to soak my clothing. I step outside, the doors pull me hard as they get caught in the gust.

Damn, it’s still hot!

Ode to Joan Rivers

No T.V. personality, male or female is as witty, fast and comical as Joan Rivers was.

Joan Rivers is an example of the determination and skill required for a woman to make it a man’s world.

In an era where media is still dominated by strong males and passive females, Joan was an inspiration to myself and other women. She spoke her mind and never apologized for it.  Despite her high ratings she was continually let go.  Its like men didn’t want to compete with a lady. But, she was too good to be ignored. Her and her daughter eventually called their own shots and produced Fashion Police this became the number one TV show in Britain- and personally my favorite show.

I could always count on Joan to make me laugh- now she’ll bring more smiles to heaven.

Joan Rivers Picture

Joan always looked fabulous in pink! Joan Rivers, comedian and fashionista

In her memory, I wrote a few jokes I imagine she’ll say on her way to heaven:

  • When encountering the grim reaper: “I’m 81, what took you so long!”
  • Looking at the staircase up to the pearly gates: “taking the stairway down sure looks easier”
  • Entering: “I’m surrounded by all my exes … you call this heaven?!”
  • Dressing up in heaven: “Finally, I get to wear white!”
  • Upon meeting God: “And I thought I was old”.

Learn more about Joan Rivers on her official site